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there we are, here and now, at the center of everything,pour another drink, try to forget, then just breathe, and remember it all.

some times I think about the good things
that once were passing through my fingers
the moments in my life where I missed the boat,
and for one reason or another lost out on some great
adventure, simply because I didn't have the balls
to step up and tell HER the truth
and now as I get older, and realize my errors, i am alone
and I know I will some day find that which Im seeking,
but right now,
with nothing bright on my horizon, I am no where important
just class, and work, and causal hellos,
and conversations with people who transcend through my life
like wind through a hallway, i hear them
yet feel no impact from them.
and I'm tense, so god damn tense these days,
not for any particular reason, but more of a lack of feeling.
more of a longing to see and feel and be touched again.
I could walk 300 miles through an endless swarm of people and not recognize a soul
the world is turning, within the realms, and thats what it has to do
because thats what its always done,
and out there in the mist,
there is a girl
I can see her in the back of mind, and the shadows of my eyes,
she is there like some sort of beacon, or foreign sign
I want so very much to follow her, but I cant understand what she wants
and I know that, that is the fatal flaw,
that one day ill wake up and realize shes getting married,
and not to me,
as it seems everyone i use to know,
is doing these days,
get hitched, get a job, following down the path. yadda yadda yadda

and then ill still be here,
with nothing but memories, and sweet lullabies, and a failed heart,
that wont ever be put right, and then ill drink
and ill drink more, and more often, and Ill drink, because its the only thing
that makes me forget,
how horrible it all played out,
and ill forget, and forget , and forget ,...
...if only I could learn to stop remembering

then Ill get a job, and maybe a wife, and maybe it will fall into place too
and ill be happy and wear a suit, and have a kid or two,
and ill be the man,
and teach them about life, and it will be ok, each of us ourselves,
like it was always ment to be.
and we will be content, like a true american,
content...
not happy,
but content

and everything else will end and that will be it,
a content life in a content world,

and ill die content, and ill be content,
and i will say I'm fine,
but deep down somewhere dark, where light has not tred nor will ever exist again,
there will be this fire, and this tingling feeling, ripping gut from gut, and torturing every vowel i speak, and ripping heart beat from my chest, and in the pit
with burning fire ragging, urging,
REMEMBERING
that you are in love with HER
and you are so trapped, in her love,
that forever now entwined this shall exist...
and it will be a suitcase
and you will carry it from town to town,
and relationship to relationship
and they will all ask to know ,
whats in that suitcase, why do you carry it with you so much,
what items do you store in such a big suitcase,
they will ask, like they always ask

and i know the answer, or at least I think I do,
that this is my burden, and my regret,
my singular, only ever lasting regret,
and that is it,
O god, if only I could open this case!

then lay it to rest, with the barflies, and cheap wines
I have spent drowning it out with since

YET, i do nothing but,
act as if I am content,
and search for a key, for this ..

...for all of this
Current Location:
Buffalo
Current Mood:
blank blank
Current Music:
Explosions in the Sky
* * *
Title: Dark Tales of Randamor the Recluse - Book I: The Invisible Chains
Author: eurypon
Format: Novel - Original characters
Length: Chapter: 10 510 words - Total: 422 912 words (September 8th, 2010)
Status: Complete
Rating: NC-17 - M - M/M Slash
Warnings: Violence, incest, rape, non-con, domination may all occur in varying degrees

Chapter 51: Anaxantis, by the Right of Arms

Guess what happens in the end...

It is one month after the Battle of the Zinchara.

Lorcko visits Timishi at the place where the capital of Wolf Mukthars is being built. We also get a glimpse of Ambrick. Both Trysulda, First Daughter of the Order of the Great Goddess and Emelasuntha receive surprising letters form the warlord. The High King as well receives a report and discusses it with his two oldest sons, Tenaxos and Portonas.

And finally Anaxantis and Ehandar...

Link: Ximerion
* * *
Title: Dark Tales of Randamor the Recluse - Book I: The Invisible Chains
Author: eurypon
Format: Novel - Original characters
Length: Chapter: 7 414 words - Total: 412 402 words (August 30th, 2010)
Status: WIP
Rating: NC-17 - M - M/M Slash
Warnings: Violence, incest, rape, non-con, domination may all occur in varying degrees

Chapter 50: Some Kind of Love

Guess what happens when the warrior prince returns home...

What is Anaxantis going to do with the captive Mukthars? And the arrested pages? A lot of other decisions have to be taken as well. Ehandar also makes up his mind. The warlord returns home, but first has a conversation about the future with Uppam Fraleck, the Lord Mayor of Dermolhea.

Anaxantis and Ehandar finally meet again...

Randamor gives Mandigaill some background information and his own insights.

Link: Ximerion
* * *
Title: Dark Tales of Randamor the Recluse - Book I: The Invisible Chains
Author: eurypon
Format: Novel - Original characters
Length: Chapter: 9 610 words - Total: 404 988 words (August 20th, 2010)
Status: WIP
Rating: NC-17 - M - M/M Slash
Warnings: Violence, incest, rape, non-con, domination may all occur in varying degrees

Chapter 49: Tmeritektos

Guess what Tmeritektos means, and if you know already, who it is.

Anaxantis is in a very dangerous situation...

Actually, there isn't much more that can be told without spoiling the fun, except that the battle rages on and some of the pages get mixed up in it.

Some people die, some get horribly wounded.

At last the warlord is forced to make a terrible decision.

Link: Ximerion
* * *
Title: Dark Tales of Randamor the Recluse - Book I: The Invisible Chains
Author: eurypon
Format: Novel - Original characters
Length: Chapter: 9 838 words - Total: 395 378 words (August 5th, 2010)
Status: WIP
Rating: NC-17 - M - M/M Slash
Warnings: Violence, incest, rape, non-con, domination may all occur in varying degrees

Chapter 48: The Battle of the Zinchara

Guess which surprise guests turn up at the battle? (There are several)

Is Tarno getting second thoughts? Or is Ehandar? Anaxantis leaves Mirkadesh. The pages lead their mini army in the direction of Ghiasht. The Mukthar army of Shigurtish is spotted in the valley region and Anaxantis directs all troops there. Trying to block the enemy he takes up position on a hill, but his army is slow in arriving. Shigurtish makes an attempt to get what he wants without having to fight for it. He also sets a trap...

Link: Ximerion
* * *
* * *
Title: Dark Tales of Randamor the Recluse - Book I: The Invisible Chains
Author: eurypon
Format: Novel - Original characters
Length: Chapter: 10 463 words - Total: 385 540 words (July 23th, 2010)
Status: WIP
Rating: NC-17 - M - M/M Slash
Warnings: Violence, incest, rape, non-con, domination may all occur in varying degrees

Chapter 47: Shorgah

Guess who gets what's coming to him and who doesn't?

Lee-Lack Scarminckle fights a desperate struggle against the Mukthars in Mirkadesh. As a result of the outcome he takes a remarkable decision. Anaxantis regroups and Timishi and Lorcko have a heart to heart. Anaxantis takes a decision regarding Timishi and his friends and has a comforting talk with Lorcko... which leaves him depressed. Ambrick pours poison in Lorcko's father's ears. Shigurtish and his army cross the Mirax. The pages struggle with the prince's tent. Volcko of Iramid and Ambrick have an appointment with destiny.

Link: Ximerion
* * *
there isn't much time left
to take what we want and turn
it into something useful
and my eyes are darker, these days
from bags that drag on
from dreamless nights spent lost
wondering where all this is headed

I try to make sense
out of what you do, and how you act
and I try to tell myself, theres a purpose
to all these breaths
and to all these dollars spent
but when i lay my head down at night
nothing adds up
and nothing is right
and thats why I drink

and i drink cartons at a time,
and I hope my liver will forgive me
when the sun comes back up
for destroying another part of him
but I know its only temporary
i Will fail him again

I could be successful
just had one of the best weeks of my life
in terms of my career,
but still nothings right,
and this is all fucked
i don't get it at all
what am I missing?
what is this invisible burden
dragging down my days
no ones here to explain it all
because you never were able to
but i guess thats to much to ask of
your pathetic slutty lifestyle
was headed nowhere to begin with

yet i sit here and think
about how smooth those walls
of your cunt must be.
I hate you more every day
yet it only fuels my lust for you

The more I try to forget you
the more I remember
The more I try to move on
the closer I come to you
and it makes no sense
could it be,
I just need
to get my dick wet?

so sit in your life
and I'll do the same
and we'll both pretend
we don't need each other
yet deep down in side
I know you want
everything I have to offer

Ill be 23 soon
and I once made a promise to someone
about being alone at 23
and i laugh now
at how insignificant time can make
all our promises become

like I never murmured a word
like you never felt my heart beat
like you never crossed my path
like we were never in LOVE
even if we didn't admit it
we were so god DAMN in LOVE
and now
after time has run its never ending course
we are no where together
and we are still in LOVE yet time,
has informed us , its all over,

so sit
and I will to
fill the void with empty souls and fake gestures
with a boy you really "like"
its real under the moon,
and under his chest
with rubber guards against your eggs
but its not so
when the sun peeks its head
up from another night
spent lost in the bottom
of a glass left half empty

searching for something real
in a world full of fakes
is about as smart
as trying to tell the girl
this is all about
that its about her
but ill just sit and break
for the great adventure
I find now

I leave you with one simple thought
i once told you
Ill always love you
and GOD DAMNIT ITS TRUE
I still love you,
but why?
I haven't the Slightest clue
Current Location:
earth
Current Mood:
confused confused
Current Music:
Manchester Orchestra
* * *
Title: Dark Tales of Randamor the Recluse - Book I: The Invisible Chains
Author: eurypon
Format: Novel - Original characters
Length: Chapter: 9 684 words - Total: 375 077 words (July 12th, 2010)
Status: WIP
Rating: NC-17 - M - M/M Slash
Warnings: Violence, incest, rape, non-con, domination may all occur in varying degrees

Chapter 46: The Previous War

Guess who will be very surprised (more than once)?

Lee-Lack Scarminckle investigates the place where the horses were stolen. Anaxantis arrives at the base camp near Dermolhea and gets a surprising invitation. Tarno daydreams. Lee-Lack Scarminckle reconnects with his gang at their hideout in the Pashira Forest. Anaxantis attends a ball organized by the ladies of the Dermolhean Forty where he receives unsettling news. Tenaxos learns that his son has brushed aside his royal charter and is going to war. Volcko of Iramid and his regiment have lost their way. Timishi explains some things to Anaxantis, who understands now what the war is all about.

Link: Ximerion
* * *
Title: Dark Tales of Randamor the Recluse - Book I: The Invisible Chains
Author: eurypon
Format: Novel - Original characters
Length: Chapter: 9 108 words - Total: 365 393 words (July 3th, 2010)
Status: WIP
Rating: NC-17 - M - M/M Slash
Warnings: Violence, incest, rape, non-con, domination may all occur in varying degrees

Chapter 45: Dancing Dragons

Guess who (there's more than one) gets arrested?

Anaxantis receives news from one of his sentry posts. Lorcko and Timishi have breakfast but are interrupted. Anaxantis convenes a Council of War. During a showdown with commander Demrac Tarngord he gets unexpected help. Ryhunzo prepares breakfast. Two arrests are made. Lee-Lack Scarminckle investigates the horse thieves. Shigurtish, commander in chief of the Mukthars, prepares to open hostilities. Anaxantis marches the army out of Lorseth. Randamor is irritated at Mandigaill the Hunter.

Link: Ximerion
* * *
Title: Dark Tales of Randamor the Recluse - Book I: The Invisible Chains
Author: eurypon
Format: Novel - Original characters
Length: Chapter: 9 296 words - Total: 356 285 words (June 23th, 2010)
Status: WIP
Rating: NC-17 - M - M/M Slash
Warnings: Violence, incest, rape, non-con, domination may all occur in varying degrees

Chapter 44: Unforgivable

Guess who (there's more than one) got captured?

Murno Tollbir meets Lorcko at the beach and has a conversation with Anaxantis. Rahendo and Obyann receive letters and packages. Lee-Lack Scarminckle has made a prisoner, but an encounter with the Mukthar prince Shigurtish leaves the robber chief worried about the future. Pages and Mukthars have a drink in The Cranky Goat and little Shermy steps on some toes. Storm over Lorseth means Obyann has to lock the door of his room. Another prisoner. This one is interrogated by Anaxantis. Later the dungeon master tells him the story of prince Pie, his distant predecessor as Lord Governor of the Northern Marches. The story is rather unsettling and plants a bitter seed.

Link: Ximerion
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